Today I simply want to point out and make explicit a thought that is often implicit in other posts. Many of the lies the religious tell and believe about nonbelievers are face-saving measures. The same is true of the phenomena of splitting (into good and evil with no indeterminate middle) and projection (where the believer accuses the non-believer--without evidence--of the same intolerance being shown by the believer).
These things are the beginnings of rationalizations for the emotions the religious person feels when challenged. He feels these emotional reactions because he has been, in his own mind, shamed by a challenge he cannot answer. In his mind, he cannot restore his social status without lowering the status of his detractor or, in extreme cases, destroying his detractor. The more narcissistic and egotistically fragile the believer, the more strongly he will feel this need. Anyone who has ever been the subject of a narcissist's rage (or witnessed it being directed at someone else) knows how disproportionate and insane it can be.
The narcissism of believers is a treacherous shoal that must be navigated with care. Such people take offense all out of proportion to any offense actually given and will respond in ways that can cause the non-believer great harm. Given our already tenuous situation in society, this sort of reaction can cause us real economic harm. In extreme cases, it can cause us physical harm. In the vast majority of cases, however, the harm will be social and economic. Believers today generally have come to understand that physical violence will make them "look bad", which is the one thing they can't abide. Instead, they will try to make the object of their hate "look bad".
If you are that object, and they are successful, this can have devastating consequences on your career and personal life. It can even do great harm to the members of your family by preventing you from fulfilling your role in the family as a result of being unable to lead a normal psychological, social, and economic life.
If you realize that you are in this situation, it is crucial to get good legal advice and to document everything that is going on. Gather as much evidence from independent sources as possible. Make written complaints to objective third parties who are in positions of authority (and keep copies--perhaps even sending separate copies to your attorney). Most important, research methods of dealing with psychopaths, narcissists, and stalkers, because that is exactly the situation you will have on your hands. The most important piece of advice for such situations is to have absolutely no contact with the person. Such people have no ethical boundaries and consider the whole thing to be a game and your pain to be their "points" in the game.
These things are the beginnings of rationalizations for the emotions the religious person feels when challenged. He feels these emotional reactions because he has been, in his own mind, shamed by a challenge he cannot answer. In his mind, he cannot restore his social status without lowering the status of his detractor or, in extreme cases, destroying his detractor. The more narcissistic and egotistically fragile the believer, the more strongly he will feel this need. Anyone who has ever been the subject of a narcissist's rage (or witnessed it being directed at someone else) knows how disproportionate and insane it can be.
The narcissism of believers is a treacherous shoal that must be navigated with care. Such people take offense all out of proportion to any offense actually given and will respond in ways that can cause the non-believer great harm. Given our already tenuous situation in society, this sort of reaction can cause us real economic harm. In extreme cases, it can cause us physical harm. In the vast majority of cases, however, the harm will be social and economic. Believers today generally have come to understand that physical violence will make them "look bad", which is the one thing they can't abide. Instead, they will try to make the object of their hate "look bad".
If you are that object, and they are successful, this can have devastating consequences on your career and personal life. It can even do great harm to the members of your family by preventing you from fulfilling your role in the family as a result of being unable to lead a normal psychological, social, and economic life.
If you realize that you are in this situation, it is crucial to get good legal advice and to document everything that is going on. Gather as much evidence from independent sources as possible. Make written complaints to objective third parties who are in positions of authority (and keep copies--perhaps even sending separate copies to your attorney). Most important, research methods of dealing with psychopaths, narcissists, and stalkers, because that is exactly the situation you will have on your hands. The most important piece of advice for such situations is to have absolutely no contact with the person. Such people have no ethical boundaries and consider the whole thing to be a game and your pain to be their "points" in the game.
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